Car shopping

So, I'm in the market for a car.

I have been for some time now, but the time seemed even more right when first my starter went out and then a month later my car decided to shut off altogether while I was driving down the road. Yeah, thanks, car.

In my searches for a nice used (well, previously owned, as it's said on auto row) car, I have dealt with all sorts of different car sales people. They're all different, even though they obviously all have the same goal.

Among all those oh-so-helpful sales guys (interestingly, there were no girls that tried to sell me cars), I found some rather colorful characters.

First there was half-shirt guy. His shirt was literally half white and half black. Straight down the middle. Maybe he was trying to make some sort of political statement, I don't know. But he really didn't know a lot about the cars I was interested in buying. So we drove one and went on our merry way, leaving that guy to contemplate his political correctness.

And then, oh then, we found Antonio Banderas. He's probably my personal favorite, even though he was the least helpful. He was just so interesting. Half the time he was off helping other customers he thought might actually impulsively buy a car that day and the other half of the time he was telling me that I didn't want to drive certain cars that, in fact, I did want to drive. Just because you look like Antonio Banderas does not make you knowledgeable on what cars girls want to drive. Sheesh. So we got left us in the dust upon his realization that we weren't buying that day. The best part was when I made the Antonio Banderas connection. The resemblance is freakish. The accent, the slicked back hair, the mannerisms. If we would have been truly interested I would gander that we would have gotten a smoulder akin to AB.

Then came the Nissan guy. Really, the cologne guy. This guy was really kind and not too pushy, but oh my, his cologne was so overwhelming. I went through a coughing fit when we followed him around. And we were outside! How does that even happen? He let us test drive the car on our own, which I was grateful for; I didn't want to be engulfed. But he was a nice guy and he keeps sending me follow-up emails. I just don't happen to want to buy the car I drove that happens to have awful crash test scores. I like living, thanks.

Yesterday, we met Richard. He immediately used hand sanitizer before he shook our hands, telling us he "has a bad habit." My mom immediately asked, "What, picking your nose?" Well, he was going at it with the sanitizer. But no, apparently his nose is finger-free. He's actually a smoker. My favorite part of that car dealership visit was the free popcorn and soda. But like a true representation of how a car dealership makes you feel, I noticed a queasy feeling shortly afterward.

Today, I met with the most normal of all the cars sales people I've yet to come in contact with. He seemed normal enough anyway. Really good eye contact and all. The best part? He pretty much gave up on selling me a car within 10 minutes. I think I made a friend, actually. I learned all about him. He moved here from Alabama, he loves to snowboard, has worked there since January, is the middle child between his brother and sister, lives downtown, etc. We're basically besties now.

Moral of the story: Expect the unexpected at car dealerships. Expect to make some enemies and some friends. Expect free food along the way. The biggest thing to not expect though—to actually come out of all your shopping with a car.