Five

So, this one time, I sat on a couch, awkwardly being that non-kid yet non-grown up age, watching a party occur in the background. Luckily, I sat next to my niece, who was nonchalantly kicking my trash at Angry Birds.

I sighed. "I wish I was five."

She demolished the whole tower with one bird then turned to me with a tiny, scrunched brow. "Why?"

"Because it looks fun. Are you having fun?"

She shrugged. "Yeah."

"That's why I want to be five."

It's funny because she doesn't know that she's living a desirable life. When kids are young, they just want to be older. It's the silliest grass-is-always-greener complex. And I hate it. Yet I do the same thing now at my current age.

Really though, there are so many reasons that I want to be five again. Here's a liszt of them. P.S. This is why I call them Liszts.

• I don't have to feel idiotic about being excited about particular things. I get more excited than normal twenty year olds get about ice cream, chocolate (or any sweets) and grocery shopping.
• I could spill on myself or eat like a hyena and it would be brushed off as a typical child-like quirk that I would eventually grow out of.
• I could more easily pretend that dirty jokes flew completely over my head.
• People wouldn't think my socks were so outlandish and absurd.
• I wouldn't have to make all of my own decisions anymore.
• School would be kindergarten and I'd get my first taste of reading again. P.S. My favorite book when I started reading was I Hate My Bow!. It's so good, read it some time. It explains a few things about my personality.
• I could put on whatever outfit I wanted and people would just be happy I dressed myself, even if I dressed only in pjs and wore my shoes on the wrong feet.
• Five year olds are smart. Just as my niece is skillful at angry birds, I had my good moments as well. I figured out how to stay at the store by pretending I was being kidnapped.
• My favorite person would be there to haul my little five-year-old self out of the store, even while I screamed that I was being kidnapped.
• Everything would be simpler. What popsicle flavor to eat. Who to play with today. How to trace the alphabet for homework. Where was the best place to have enough room to jam out to Just Dance.

This is how I try to stay young and ridiculous,
even though I'm not five.

There are many more reasons that being five would be the greatest change in the world. I guess 20 isn't so terrible. I'll be 21 soon, which also probably won't be too terrible. Five is just better.

She's wearing her pjs out to the Olive Garden here. See? So much easier.